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Comparisons Aren’t on the Path to Healing

Comparisons Aren’t on the Path to Healing

by Justine Calderwood, MSPT
It seems our brain is always trying to “figure things” out and “rationalize” everything.  What would it be like to just stop, quiet your mind for a little while and FEEL into things?  What would your BODY say?  Where would you feel the pain of past trauma or injury?  

See, we have a natural tendency to want to analyze, figure out and make sense of the events of our lives and our stories.  What if you could release some of your trauma simply by your willingness to feel into it?  What if you didn’t need an explanation?  If you didn’t need to attach to the story in order to heal from it?  What if by simply FEELING it you could release its hold on you?

Wouldn’t that be lovely?  Perhaps you could find a glimmer of peace or hope waiting for you there.

If you look around you may find someone who’s hurting more than you.  Someone who has a “worse story” than yours. Does that mean you aren’t hurting?  Does that mean its any easier to let your pain go?

On the flip side, if you look around and start comparing you may find your story to be worse than others.  It defines you.  Your story becomes you.  You are a victim.  You may decide that you can never let it go or that you will never be able to forgive or move past it.

Let me tell you a secret.  There’s a better way than rationalizing, analyzing, and trying to make sense of it. You use your intellectual Left brain to do those things.  When you quiet that fearful side down and feel into your intuitive, wise, Right brain you may start to see something more.  A lesson in it.  It might be hard to see the lesson and to put any type of positive spin on it at first. 

Perhaps in feeling there you’ll even find a silver lining to your pain and suffering.  Was there a life lesson buried deep in there?  Did an ounce of “good” come of it?  Did it propel you to create a life mission that helps others dealing with the pain you had experienced?  Did it give you the courage to change something about yourself for the better?  Did it lead you to self-love and in turn be able to love others?
​People are suffering, there’s no doubt about that.  I get to meet people all the time and guide them through the trenches of healing from chronic pain.  Pain that was planted there by mistreatment, neglect, beatings, rape, grief, molestation, verbal abuse, apathy, insecurity, childbirth, injury, trauma, and accidents. Some planted there intentionally, some not.  
I recently received this email from a patient I’ve been treating.  She gave me permission to share her words:
​“Hi Justine:
Thanks for being interested in my well-being.  I calculated that I started healing 46 years ago.  Thanks for guiding me into feeling the feelings more effectively.  All the practitioners I have been to never said to feel the feelings. They used different methods but most times I could not feel anything.  I knew that was necessary but I had not breathed into them before.

Myofascial Release is allowing me to process the feelings at a tolerable rate now with one session per month since feelings are surfacing daily.
It would be fine if you shared any communication I have had with you. I always want others to feel better. If I can help in any small way I am more than happy to do so. It helps me feel I have purpose in life.
You must feel so edified in being able to help so many people.  As always I am grateful you have shown me compassion and so much kindness. Not all healers are created equal.”
Even among this woman’s long-enduring and deep suffering she is happy to share about her experience because, in her words,“It helps me feel I have purpose in life”

So, just for a moment, I suggest you try to quiet that side of your brain that wants to ask “Why?” and then goes into a tailspin of figuring things out.  Take a moment to feel into your body and ask yourself something I’ve learned from my mentor John F Barnes, PT, “What do I need to learn from this?  What is a healthier, more positive way to think, feel and act now?” and wait for your answer to come.

If you are suffering from chronic pain, whether you suspect the cause or not, and you’re ready to look within and feel into your body in order to start feeling better, we’re here to help you.  If you need to talk it through while feeling into things, we are willing to work with your counselor on your behalf. 

If you don’t have a counselor and want us to recommend one, we’d be glad to do that, too.  Help is available and at The Healing Spot Physical Therapy we’re ready to give you the support and guidance you are looking for.  


​Justine Calderwood, MSPT is a holistic physical therapist who is passionate about helping women and men with chronic pain feel better and move easier to recover from trauma, injury or shitty life circumstances.  She wants to help you discover the hidden clues to your physical pain, unravel the kinks, and guide you toward authentic healing, regardless of how long you’ve been suffering.  Schedule a no-cost, no-obligation Discovery Session to see if Justine is the right fit for you as you strive for a happy, balanced, active life.

The materials contained on this website are provided for general information and educational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice on any particular individual situation. Please see your Healing Spot Physical Therapist or other medical practitioner for full and individual consultation.  The information contained in this blog is not intended to diagnosis, cure, treat or prevent any disease.


Justine Calderwood

The Healing Spot Physical Therapy

"We Help Individuals Overcome Pelvic Floor Issues, And Heal Bowel & Bladder Conditions So They Can Be Active and Pain Free Again, Regardless of How Long It's Been"